Not Gonna Lie, I Cried

Gonna get a little personal here...

When I was diagnosed last year with breast cancer and knew I had to have a mastectomy, I initially decided I wouldn't do reconstruction of my breasts. My breast surgeon recommended I at least speak with a plastic surgeon and explore the option. I agreed but felt pretty set in my decision. After all, what could possibly replace the real thing?

One thing, and one thing only, changed my mind. I realized I wanted to have a bosom upon which to rock future grandchildren I might have. At that time, I had none, and I wasn't even aware Joey & Kim were trying to get pregnant.

So reconstruction it was. And if you've followed my blog, you know what a rocky road that's been. There were days I felt battered and discouraged and cobbled together like a Frankenstein monster. Breast reconstruction is supposed to be easy. Why did Jamie and I have to take such a hard road through it?

Today though, all the pain, setbacks, struggles of my reconstruction became nothing but dust in the wind. It was all worth it. I held my new little grandson against me and rocked him. And when he reached up his little hand and grabbed my blouse, I cried.

I was as complete as I've ever been. And I knew why Jamie and I had traveled the hard road. Hard roads can take you to beautiful places. And hard roads traveled give you a greater appreciation of the significance of those sweet gentle moments as you are in them. You take more care to be fully present in those moments and cherish them and hold them in your heart. I'm grateful for the hard road that led me to this place, holding and rocking my son's son against my bosom.

I can't wait to hold him again.